Drooler Of The Month

You must be sufficiently ignorant, stupid, uneducated, and or retarded. You must express no fewer than 10 totally laughable half baked babbling non opinions per month, state no fewer than 10 complete lies and fabrications per month, have been exposed to have participated in at least 15 cases of sock creation, shilling, spamming, internet vandalism, and or cyber stalking from calendar years 2007 to the present, must lose control of their bodily functions and or fly into blind rage at the sight or thought of minorities, gays, educated people, the gainfully employed, and the fully literate, and must be totally incapable of adult level legitimate discussion on matters of politics, social issues, religion, chocolate milk, personal hygiene, shiny objects, things that taste salty, and what objects you should never stick in your ear.

Body weight 40% over or 30% under normal, poor dental hygiene, frequent outdoor urination, unkempt facial hair, (men and women) chronic unemployment or under employment, men who own less that 5 shits with a collar, women who own less than 4 pairs of shoes, a home which is situated on a lot less than 100x50 feet, is on wheels, is located more then 4 miles from a place where soap can be purchased, or has "weekly and monthly rates", ownership of vehicles older then 12 years old with a blue book value of less than $1000, the inability to properly pronounce vowels, a lisp, and use of semi literate terms like "Ya'll", "All get out", ending sentences with "right there", beginning sentences with "I tell ya h'wut" and an income lower than 20% above the poverty level are all desirable attributes for any drooler of the month candidate.